Day One -Back to Reality

The first day back to work went better than I expected. I was expecting to be an emotional wreck. I got up last night at 1 o'clock and 4 o'clock to feed Ava. I got up to get ready for work at 5 o'clock. That part definitely sucked. But I think I was running off some nerves today. I knew I had a lot to catch up with at work and then I was stressed about leaving Ava for work. I followed Noah to my mom's house because I couldn't part with Ava just yet. I had my little cry before I sadly left for work.

To shake things up even more they moved me to a different cubicle at work so that took some getting used to. But I was kept super busy at work trying to adjust to coming back and I was very thankful for it because it kept my mind off of leaving my sweet baby girl.

I did get my fix of her at lunch. I was thinking in my head she was going to be screaming her head off when I got to the babysitter's house but to my surprise she was sleeping like an angel. It made me feel more at ease knowing she wasn't giving the babysitter a hard time. The rest of my day at work I could concentrate on work and not feel guilty.

When I got home it was nice to cuddle with her. We took a nice nap because I was exhausted and the lack of sleep finally caught up to me now that I was home and with her in my arms. Noah has been so great. He took the initiative to cook us a nice dinner and I didn't have to worry about a thing. He fixed the bottles for the night and I gave Ava a bath. She's sound asleep now.

I'm so happy today went well. It gives me hope that I can get through this. It's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay.