I've written to my mom every year since she passed away. Today marks four years since she left us. I think these letters help me feel connected to her and I feel like she hears me when I read them, I can imagine her smiling...
So mom here's my letter to you this year.
Dear Mom,
Here we are. Four years. I didn't think I could get here without you. The truth is I'm here but I still dream about what the past four years would have been like with you along side all of us. I am going to eat lunch with your sisters this Sunday and I imagine you in the kitchen with us and what you'd be chatting and laughing about with your best friends. I miss you more with each day that passes. While most of my days I am happy it only takes a moment to bring me back to how much it hurts that you aren't here. Luckily, my days are kept busy with the kids! I know you had a hand in blessing me with your other two grandchildren. Your sister seems to think Mia looks just like you when you were a baby. She is the sweetest baby so I am thinking she takes after you too. She's sweet and feisty. Still, just like you. I know you’d be leaving red lipstick kisses all over her if you could!
I am happy to report your family is doing just fine. It hasn't been the easiest but we have learned from this experience of loss, to let go of the things that don't really matter. I do have to say I miss dad being closer. It's hard with him living so far away, but we make it work.
Mom, Anthony has a girlfriend! She's nice too ! I haven't checked the status of his room, it's probably dirty still!
Seal and family are doing well too. We hang out with them on Sundays. Instead of coming to your house we hang out at mine. I miss our Sunday traditions and I miss your cooking so much!
Today is Friday and I miss your weekly phone call around this time reminding me not to eat meat. For lunch, I had a fish sandwich, haha! I smiled thinking about you that.
The kids are growing so fast! Ava is 8 tomorrow! She misses you the most because she had the most time with you. But I tell them every time they see a little red cardinal it’s your way of saying hello! So every time we see one we all say "Hi Grandma!" It warms my heart! I think you'd have so much fun getting to know Levi. He is at a very fun age!
Lily used to make you laugh all the time. Well, she continues to make us laugh. She’s fearless and very emotional like I used to be!
Both girls are doing really well in school! They like their new school a lot.
I wish you could see our new house. We had to move because we outgrew our old house. It has lots of space and we are enjoying it so far!
Mom, there are so many times I’ve wanted to call you up and share all of this. I hope you can hear me in those times I need you. Today, I really feel you close.
Continue to watch over us. I love you so much and miss you more than words can express.
See you in my dreams.
Love,
Julia
